We are getting there

So for the past three days we've been letting Nate 'cry it out' at night. No peeking, no checking every 15 mins, just letting him put himself to sleep. As you may have noticed this has been a teeeny bit difficult for me (like digging my own liver out with a ballpoint pen and then eating it). But it's been working, y'all. He screams, but less and less every night, and he wakes up in the night way less often now. He is also sleeping in his own crib all night, and in the daytime he stays more cheery.

Cripes, it is tough though. The night after I first reported to you, I sat and listened to him cry for 45 mins. I couldn't stand it anymore and went in and checked on him. I just gave him his pacifier and he went back to sleep. Later though, at about four thirty, we let him cry. I felt sick, sweaty and like a horrible person. Next night he cried less but it was still pretty bad. Last night he apparently woke up at midnight. I say apparently because I SLEPT THROUGH IT. Justin said that he didn't cry for long but I slept through. I feel kind of guilty but Justin thinks that this is great progress for me (mostly I lay in the dark asking him if he thinks Nate is okay and nobody sleeps).

I'm glad that it is working out and Nate is obviously not only NOT scarred for life, but actually thriving (napping better and sleeping sounder). It would have sucked to put him through this for nothing. Now that I see the results it makes me feel less like mommy dearest.

The stupid thing is that a big part of me not only doesn't mind him sleeping with us but might even encourage it (I like the cuddles y'all, and might be in danger of raising a mama's boy). I seriously could be my own worst enemy with the kid. Good thing I have Justin and at least a part of my brain that is reasonable and knows that this stuff is better for Nate in the long run.

Keep your fingers crossed for tonight.