We were pretty much sure that our respective parents would never get to meet or spend much time together. In fact, we pretty much thought that the universe as we know it would cease to exist if that very thing were to happen. Don't get me wrong, we both love our own and each other's parents very much (I often accuse my parents of liking my partner more than they like me and the other way 'round), but we figured that his parents wouldn't really have much in common with my folks. I was initially thinking it would be like some kind of bizarre Asian/Caucasian version of Dharma and Greg. It isn't totally. It's more like working class, liberal small town white Canadian family meets upper-middle class, straight and narrow cosmopolitan Chinese family (you gotta admit, those are some seriously different epistomological foundations). We have never actually actively discouraged them from getting together as they live on oppisite sides of the planet, but we figured that that would neatly do the trick.
My folks had my brother and I in their early twenties, and my partner's had their kids in their late thirties.
My family - vacation at the beach. His family - vacation in Europe.
My family - helped me out with rent while I was in university. His family - paid for his university in another country.
My family - go with the flow. His family - dictates, creates, maintains and disciplines the flow.
My family - meat and potatoes. His family - spicy Malaysian-Indonesian-Chinese food with veggies my folks have never even heard of.
My family - be happy. His family, get a good job that will make you happy.
My family - loud, boisterous, tell you how it is. His family - quiet, avoids anything that even looks like confrontation, only hints at 'it' and you have to spend a lot of time to figure out how and what 'it' really is.
In case it sounds like I am crapping over one family at the expense of another, I'd like to make it clear that I am not. I, of course, am more comfortable with what I grew up with than anything else, but I dearly love my in-laws. I just didn't really ever want to have to manage the dynamics of all those different realities at once.
It's all my fault. I was meandering around the Westjet website as they were having a sale (you never know when you'll need a cheap ticket to somewhere and I was fantasizing about getting on a plane to elsewhere) and I commented that they had these four day package tours to destinations in the maritimes. It was all very innocent. So I wandered upstairs and about ten minutes later I was facing my in-laws who wanted to know if we could all go to Halifax to visit my parents since they had mever been to Halifax, hadn't met my Dad, and hadn't seen my Mom since the wedding (seven years ago).
I wonder how come they didn't jump on the seven day packages to Maui, they were the same price and have way prettier flowers.
So there it is. I spent two hours on the phone booking our tickets and hotel and such and trying not to be too stressed out and having some fairly weird anxiety over the whole thing. My partner slept, which is his way of dealing with this sort of stress. Anyway, I figure that in the end it can't possibly be too bad bacause they have one very important thing in common, their very first grandchild.
Nate will be the glue that bonds the fuckedupedness of our strange mish-mashed family together.
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