Some days...

Have I mentioned how much I adore my child? I do...really. So much so that when there is something bugging him and he cries, it breaks my heart.

He was having tummy troubles today and I sat with him all afternoon while he slept and cried and slept and cried and slept and felt terrible. I felt awful. It is the stupidest thing cause really how's that going to help? And I feel like "hey, tell me whats going on and I'll make it better" but that's so a lie cause I can't, can I?

I mean, I don't want to sound all stupid and smushy (I am tho) and all, but it's kind of crappy to not be able to help the little dude. Not always-- like when he scratches himself in the face and I'm like "well don't do that" or when he gives that obviously fake cry meant to make me pick him up or not put him to bed (does that cry ever work?). It's when he is so obviously in distress and there's not a goddam thing I can do to help.

That cry sucks.

On the not sucky side, there's all this stuff that's great and communicative about the little 'un these days. He can actually grab stuff and get it to his mouth now. I know it may not sound like much, but for a long time now you could see the determination in his eyes as he would look at something and try to will it into his hand or mouth. The intensity was pretty nutty and nothing would happen or his hand would just sorta jerk out. Now it's a way more controlled grab for it, and most of the time he actually makes it.