Tirade and Son of Tirade

Birthday and Batcakes

2010-03-03T07:41:00.000-08:00

Hallo,

Nate is four. How did this happen? We've been in Halifax nearly a year, how did this happen? Where did the time go? What happened to my BABY?

Four

Nate is all about Star Wars these days. Justin has started him out with the last three, which of course are the first three to us. It's Luke and Han all the way baby! After debating how old he should be to watch them, we just put one on to see if he would be interested. He was. Now it is Star Wars all the time. Princess Leah is his companion and often comes to dinner. Luke and Darth Bader (yep Bader) fight with their light sabers in our livingroom. I have to say, it is gratifying when your kid likes some of the same things that things you do, although I don't know what that says for me-sharing interests with a four year old boy. I know all the transformers, and lots about Ben 10, Bakugan, and Batman (in truth, I only had to learn about Ben 10 and Bakugan, I already knew lots abou the others). The boy will never have to argue with me about spending his money on comics.

On the 'me' side its work and house and work on the house. I've recently joined weight watchers and have taken off just over 20 lbs. I felt that it was time for a bit of a change and I'm pretty happy with the way things are going. I have been cooking up a storm trying to make dishes that are both yummy and suitable for my new watching of the food lifestyle. Surprisingly, it isn't all that difficult as my diet was full of good foods to begin with. Mostly it is just watching portions and lightening up recipes with alternative ingredients.

I started this entry this morning and it is now almost 8pm. Not super exciting, but there it is. I wrote one.

HA!

2009-04-17T17:01:00.000-07:00

I say to the little voice in my head that said we'd never be able to pull it off. HA! I say again -- we are home. It feels good. As most of you know (because Justin's blog actually gets updated) we have a house now. I'm super excited to paint, buy appliances, start a garden, renovate the kitchen and a hundred other things. Mostly though I'm loving the anticipation of the appliance and furniture shopping. How often do I get to drop a bunch of cash on new stuff?

Nate is in seventh heaven about the house, but more importantly he is with nana and grandfather (Nate calls him that--we aren't sure why).

Justin is buying do-it yourself and home renovation books and magazines.

The house has a fenced-in yard and play equipment and is mere moments from many many good things like elementary schools, playgrounds, and THE MALL. Something for everyone.

happy happy happy

Sunny day, keeping the clouds away!

2008-11-23T09:20:00.000-08:00

By winter standards in Vancovuer, it is paradise! No rain yesterday and sunny today. Very odd, but I'm not knocking it -- no siree! I'm going to enjoy it!

I've finally got my shit together and have boxed up some things to be sent, some for the holiday season, some that have been waiting for some time.

Nate and Justin are sitting on the couch having an intense conversation about cranberries (Nate's current snack favorite).

It is my last week of work in my supervisor position and I'm pretty much ready to be done. I really like the job and I love my team, but I think I'll like having less responsibility. It has been a full year with lots of challenges for me and I've learned so much. I'm ready for more time to spend with Justin and Nate.

I introduced Nate to Gumbi this weekend and he loves it! I forgot how much fun they were, but also had forgotten how American they are. George Washington, the Declaration of Independence, Ben Franklin all make appearances. Still so much fun.

He was once a little green slab of clay...

One trick pony

2008-11-19T19:42:00.000-08:00

sell my condo
sell my condo
sell my condo

my roller coaster relationship

2008-11-16T17:41:00.000-08:00

with real estate.

This is getting ridiculous! I'm soooo close to going home that I can taste it, hell I've even been dreaming about it lately. I know that's weird, but I had this dream that we all moved home into my mother's house which was, as it always happens in dreams, not my mother's house but a huge gorgeous old mansion with a basement to rival the coolest of houses. And in this dream Idjie was alive. I dream of Idjie a lot, and I'm not entirely sure what he is doing in all of these dreams except being Idjie. Anyhow, in this dream I'm joyous 'cause we are home and everyone is good and lights are sparkling in the sky (seriously!).

So I know that all won't be fabulous and all my troubles won't melt away just by going home, but dammit we had a plan.

It looks like we might have to lower the price on our condo if we want it to sell. I'm generally okay with that, but it brings up the whole what are we doing and why are we doing it thing. I feel like if I don't make this all happen perfectly then it won't happen at all and the stress is starting to get to me a bit. Part of me is also wishing that I had done this six months or a year ago and we'd be sitting pretty. Stoopid crash, stoopid banks, stoopid people who won't buy my condo.

I don't know whether to laugh or cry really. Or buy video games. Maybe an X BOX to take the edge off. Just a little bit of retail therapy.

I feel like something has got to give.

I love it when a plan comes together....

2008-11-10T17:05:00.000-08:00

or almost comes together.

I got word on Friday that my director is supportive of my telework agreement! This means I can take my job to Halifax!!! No kidding! I had been trying hard not to count on it or jinx it (or think of it in any way)since it was a bit of a long shot. This means I can take my Analyst job with me and work from my home office in Halifax. When I get a home office, that is. Currently we haven't had any offers on our place yet and we are getting a little antsy. We had a fairly well attended open house on the weekend and have two showings tomorrow.

I really love the place we are offering on in Halifax. With my guaranteed income now we may be able to keep both places, but it would be stretchy. The idea was really to have no debt, not increase it. On the other side of it, if we can afford it the Vancouver rental market is waaaay hotter than the selling market right now, so we could make it work.

Keep up the voodoo magic folks, it seems to be working!

Patty

Sell this frickin' house

2008-11-02T22:09:00.001-08:00

So our deal to sell this place with our neighbor fell through and we are now on the market. Being on the market makes me feel veeeeery insecure. As anyone who reads the papers or watched the news, or is alive knows, whatever "the market" is, it is not good. Places in this complex similar to ours previously sold in one lousy day! Now we are holding our breath to see if we can get at least $40, 000 less than we could have got for it six months ago. It isn't the money (well mostly it isn't), but the uncertainty that is killing me. I want to go home! I have a house all picked out and everything. Anyone who imagined me stamping my foot with the last sentence is abso-frickin-lootely right. So whoever is reading this do whatever prayer, strange pagan ritual, voodoo magic or whatnot you can to get this sucker moving.

In other news, Nate is awesome! We took him around and about on Halloween and once he hit the first few houses all hesitance went out the window! He was walking into peoples houses! Yesterday, he threw his arms around my legs and said "Mama, I'm your best friend." He tells me he loves me every night before he goes to bed (something I did even until my teens with my Mom and Dad--oops and now that I think it I still do it). It breaks my heart in a good way and I will never get tired of hearing it.

Screw being a rock star academic -- being a mom is better.

Nate and Sosi - PEI 2008

2008-10-12T12:58:00.000-07:00

Home again, home again.

2008-10-12T12:34:00.000-07:00

So. We've done it. We are selling the house here in Vancouver and moving to Nova Scotia. We pretty much decided it was time when we were home this summer. Now we are off our butts and have taken the plunge. A neighbor has put an offer in on our condo and we have some promising leads on places in Halifax.

Wow.

It feels really odd to be doing this, even though it has been our plan for a long time. I keep wondering how we can leave all of our amazing friends behind. It kills me to think about this, we have so many wonderful people in our life. We really love Vancouver but the bottom line is that it is too tough to make ends meet here, and Nate (and us too) really needs to have family close. And let's face it, for the last few years we have hardly been availing ourselves of the whole urban Vancouver scene. It's nice to have the choice, but we aren't living here for the night life, you know?

I have some job stuff to sort out and we have some house stuff to sort out, but it looks like we will be landing in Halifax smack dab in the middle of winter. BRRRRRRRRRRRRR.

Guess we'd better get some snowsuits.

Also, I'd like to take thi opportunity to let anyone who might still be reading this sporadic blog to have a look at Justin's blog. I'm loving it and am finding things out from it that I don't know about his day to day. Is that scary?

Vaykayshun, cha cha cha! Vaykayshun, cha cha cha!

2008-07-27T17:35:00.000-07:00

As you may already know we are on vacation. On Wednesday it will be two whole weeks with two more to go until we go back to Vancouver. The first week was totally about lying low and hiding out from the rain-of-biblical-proportions (Hello tropical storms). We were just hanging out at my folk's place and doing some cool kid in Halifax stuff with Nate. We hit the Museum of Natural History (where they have a butterfly house and a functioning hive of bees you can watch) and the Discovery Centre (where they make bubbles you can stand in). We also hit the public gardens on one very foggy evening and let Nate get freaked out by the ducks who like to get up close and personal (he did really like them though in the end).

Nate loves my parents. He was completely mesmerized by my Dad (who he calls grandfather) and followed him around everywhere (as most kids and pets do). After a day or two he refused to let my mother go to work in the morning (stay here Nana! No go!). They got him a water table, let him run around through the sprinklers (on the nice two days), and were all around spoily spoily with him. Then it was bye bye to PEI to stay with our friends Lori and Paul.

How many ways can you say magic? The weather was lovely from the moment we left Halifax, the ferry ride went without a hitch, and the lovely and talented Lori was on the other side waiting to give us big hugs. The past days we have spent here have been the most relaxing time I can remember in a long while. Sosi and Nate are, for the most part, in love with one another and play great together and give us adult-types time to breathe with the play they can cook up between themselves. We have missed the Lopes family so much since they moved and are having an amazing time just chatting and shopping and hanging out and catching up. We will be so sad to leave in a few days.

Y'all being in the Maritimes makes me go hmmmmm a little. I mean it always does in the what-if way of the world but this time I'm giving it a really serious hmmmm. Can it be that the tirade is ready to move to a smaller city? Stay posted sports fans. In the meantime I'm hoping to catch up with lots more friends while I'm home.

We took Nate to the beach today and he freaking loved it! We could barely get him home. He and Sosi spend much of their time in the backyard running around like little savages and splashing in the kiddie pool. Lori and I went to the local flea market this morning and found some great stuff for prices I was almost ashamed to pay. Island life is good.

I'm so tired after a long day at the beach that I'm not even going to proof read. I'm just gonna click the friggin button.

I am Legend

2008-06-01T09:43:00.000-07:00

I ordered it from the cable company and sat down to watch it last night. It turned out to be a not-too-subtle-but-different-enough-to-be-interesting remake of a Charlton Heston movie called The Omega Man (which I have seen a few times and liked in a creepy cultie movie kind of way). I like Will much better than Charlton, by the way and I thought he did a great job.

So y'all, when the movie finished I burst into tears for like 15 mins. Truth be told, this end of the world humanity screws itself through bio warfare/nuclear destruction/nature strikes back kind of stuff terrifies the snot out of me. The. Snot. Out. Of. Me. Also I am fascinated by it.

My question is: why do I do this to myself?

I saw The Day After when I was 13 years old and I have been terrified about living through some world changing, population killing, cataclysmic event eve since. Guess what? Still scared (but hiding it better).

Now that I have a kid these fears seem to be more attached to fearing what would happen to Nate if such an event were to occur. Call me crazy, but if/when the big whatever it is comes I think we will need more than bottled water to fix things. I know this fear is exacerbated by all of the mass tragedy around the world that has been in the news. And I have no survival skills. I know that. I would have very little to contribute to a post armageddon society.

So what do you think? Am I going old lady everything is dangerous crazy?

Off to the Big Smoke

2008-05-31T23:57:00.000-07:00

I'm busy doing laundry and prepping for a business trip to Ottawa this week. I've never been there so I'm a bit excited. The really exciting thing is that I'll get to see my sister's family (including a new nephew) and my Auntie and her family while I'm there. Who knew there would be so much waiting for me in the Nation's capital?

I took Nate to get a haircut today. His hair is short (like short short). I felt like it was too much with the summer coming on for him to mess about with lots of hair. He went from baby to boy in 15 mins flat. I will post pics here soon. He also got a lolly from the hairdresser and was very excited. I think it might have been his first.

I got my hair done but no lolly.

Sometimes it sucks to be an adult.

Hot and Not

2008-05-19T10:28:00.000-07:00

We have had two days of heat and sun and Vancouver seems to have exploded with flowers and summer, or maybe I just wasn't paying attention.

One of my aunties is coming to visit us tomorrow from Ottawa and I am totally excited. I was very close to her growing up. Her parents used to make her take me on dates when I was younger, and it seemed like she had limitless patience (in retrospect) for her little chaperone.

She moved from Halifax a number of years ago and has never met Nate. It makes me almost stupidly happy that she is going to come here to see us. I very rarely have the chance to show my family what my life is like out here in Vancouver. I guess I'm proud of what we have built here.

Mama Tirade

2008-05-11T22:02:00.000-07:00

This morning my family let me sleep in to an unimaginable 9am (the luxury)! Nate woke me up yelling 'Happy Mother's Day Mama' at the top of his lungs. It sounds sappy, but it was music to my ears. This was followed by a very proud "I help make pancakes!"

They were lovely. Justin pulled Nate's step stool up to the kitchen island and he poured and stirred and then sat at the table with us while we all ate pancakes with golden corn syrup.

A great morning.

I love being a mom.

What the #@*&^%$ is wrong with me?

2008-05-08T17:27:00.000-07:00

Y'all I'm tired.

This week I feel ground down to a chubby nubbin. Not pissed off, not self righteous, not fierce at all. I feel very un-Tirade-ish. It could be the heat in my cubicle at work that I'm sure is about a kazillion degrees when the sun shines in Vancouver (I yearn for but fear nice days). It could be my really crappy food choices (bad, bad ones, don't ask). I feel like all the good has been sucked right out of me. So today when I was staring at a woman who I supervise wondering why she wasn't doing my job instead of me (cause she is that frackin good and I feel tired and old an broken down) I think I hit on it. I need a vacation. An honest to goodness get the fuck out of Dodge vacation. I have been going non stop without more than a few days strung together off since I before I started my new job. I went from working a job with some insane overtime to a job where we created a new unit from scratch. Mighty satisfying but I think I'm pooped.

And what is worse? It means that I'm less present for my kid and mate and dog. That truly sucks. This is a good thing to realise.

Now to do something about it.

How the mighty (and ridiculous) have fallen

2008-05-02T21:33:00.000-07:00

So I have a great job. A lot of people think it might be a bit depressing but it works for me. I am a little cog in a wheel that endeavors to help compensate survivors of violence. I love the work that I do and I take pride in it. I recently found out that our department will be absorbed into another department. A department I never would have wanted to work for and wouldn't have applied to work for at all, EVER (or so I thought) for very real ethical reasons. So here I am feeling like I've compromised something. I feel like one of little ghosts that pacman used to eat. I feel dirty.

Lets face it--I am unlikely to leave the work and the people I love (I seriously do love them all). What does that make me? I have stated often and loudly that I would not want to work for this place. Sellout. Turncoat.

Is this what it is like to grow up?

Hey, look at me!

2008-04-28T21:32:00.000-07:00

New Promise

2008-04-26T18:39:00.000-07:00

So you've all heard the promises of blogging to come, of renewed blogging etc. I am going to try to post sometthing every couple of days, even if it just a sentence. Let's see how it goes.

About 1/2 hour ago Nate came up to me grinning. He said, "I'm drinking water mama!" On a closer look I noticed that his face and shirt were covered with water.

*DING*

"Were you drinking Snoopy's water Nate?"

"Yeah, I a dog!"

Oh my.

Just in case anyone is still out there!

2008-01-13T09:57:00.000-08:00

Nate wakes up in the morning now in his crib and plays. When he's had enough alone time he yells, just loud enough for us to hear, "Mama, Dada, where are you?" How freaking heart breaking is that? It works on me like a magic wand.

All the news fit to print

2007-11-24T20:50:00.000-08:00

I dunno where to start really its been such a long time. I got a new job in September that has been keeping me pretty busy. I'm really loving it but sometimes I have these rashes of severe doubt about whether I'm doing a good job of it. I'm wondering if I'm unsuited to be a public servant. I'm too much 'say what I mean' and 'ask for what I want' and not really all that good at subtlety. Up until now I've considered these very very good personality traits and I think they've got me pretty damn far in life. But the truth is, it doesn't make me all that good at compromising, or suffering fools gladly. Luckily, I have the best and most supportive team in the world and they seem to like me just the way I am. But I'm worried that this will keep me from moving along in my career. I know I'm a pretty good manager but I think sometimes I come off as being too aggressive and not appropriately meek or diplomatic or whatever. Normally this wouldn't bother me, but I think there is a danger of me being interpreted as too pushy, or outspoken or assertive. Possibly this is just me being crap on myself -- I mean I'm relatively new to this sector of the workplace and have a lot to learn. Maybe I expect too much of myself to get everything straight off the bat. I am trying to learn, but don't want to be other than me, just a bit better than me if that makes any sense.

Nuff said.

In other news, Nate continues to be the most amazing and incredible kid I've ever had the pleasure to meet. He is talking in short sentences now and is interested in absolutely everything. He continues to love bubbles, doggies, pumpkins, stars and Diego and continues to hate avocado and having his face washed.

Some new things about Nate:

He loves dried mango and raisins more than cookies. He often stands in front of the pantry asking for cookies, and when you open the door to the pantry to give him one, he then starts chanting either 'raisins' or 'mango' until you dole them out. This is hilarious. He needs to have a sneaky approach to get them?

His best new word by far is "funny". He says things like "momma funny," "Dada funny," and best "Nate's Dada funny."

He gets pissy when you try to take off his yellow rubber boots that he wears absolutely everywhere.

He now says pease [please], dadum [thank you], ecum [welcome]. When he does something wrong he says sodee [sorry].

He has mastered most of the animals in his books and is still obsessed with shoes.

Even when he is driving you nuts, which he does quite often now that he is getting his second molars in and is cranky, you just have to laugh cause he is being a brat in such a single minded, intense fashion that you almost feel sorry for him.

So, here is my little update and I won't promise more like I usually do (I will try though).

Goings on

2007-09-02T10:42:00.000-07:00

Nate is staring slack-jawed at Four Squares on TV and eating goldfish snacks. Perfect time for a guilty little blog. Time has been a precious commodity these days. For the last few weeks I've been doing lots and lots of overtime at my job, which meant 15 hour days and some weekend work. On the home front this resulted in a Momma who hardly saw her kid for days at a time, and a Dada who was going out of his mind stuck with a nutty 18 month old for waaay too long at a time. Then at the end of last week I got a call asking me if I would accept a deployment into another position and then to an acting position two pay grades above my own level. Not only is the work exciting, the pay better, the direction appropriate with where I see my career path going, but it is with people I really like working with. What is the problem you ask?

Me. I'm the problem. It's not like I haven't had this before. In both my MA and PhD I was freaked. I figured that at any moment someone would bust into the classroom and haul me out saying there had been some terrible mistake, and of course they hadn't meant to accept me, and how could I be so silly. Now y'all I know I am some degree of good, but I'm so terrified of fucking up that it makes everything a giant-assed deal. I'm working on it, really I am. But every new thing brings on a little attack of this. Hopefully I will be too busy in my new job to pay too much attention to it. I would sacrifice my right tit (hell take both of them)for just a little bit more arrogance right now.

To switch gears, Mr. Nate is flourishing. He has of late discovered temper tantrums that make me want to scream, but as our friend Lori says, it's nice to know that he has a little fight in him. He is mostly a very happy child, but dammit he is headstrong. He's connecting words into little bits like "dadda gone," and "what's that?" He is obsessed with bottles, whether they be pop bottles, shower gel bottles, beer bottles, whatever. He also wants to walk everywhere and gets thoroughly pissed when you put him in his stroller. Problem is, he hasn't quite grasped the concept of cars and road = smushed baby.

It's off to Nape time for nate.

bye

BSG

2007-08-13T22:04:00.000-07:00

I just finished watching the season ender and OMG! It's not like I didn't expect some of it, but the way it was done was fabulous, and trippy, and a little gonzo. I've got a migrane and I still had to watch it (those of you who have seen it will know what a special weirdness a migrane will add to the mix).

wow.

Snip snip

2007-08-09T21:17:00.000-07:00

Vacation good. Work bad.

2007-08-09T20:19:00.000-07:00

Hey y'all!

The last few days at home have been fabulous! We've done the hanging around thing, the shopping thing, the going out here and there thing. This not going to work thing is fun. We haven't really been doing anything out of the ordinary, it's just nice to have the time to do all the normal day to day things that I'm usually not a part of like going for the morning walk, getting a coffee and hanging out, putting him down for a nap etc.

Nate and I did have one adventure on the weekend where we went to Langley to a berry farm with a friend and co-worker of mine and her son. After the berry farm we stopped by to visit her in-laws "farm" (which was really an estate of sorts where they kept horses). Nate was in complete awe of the big horses and fascinated by the foals. He spent lots of time just watching them and then petting their noses. After this we went to Fort Langley, which is a charming little town where we ate fish and chips with the kids, and then made it home in time to watch the fireworks (well except for Nate who needed to sleep badly).

Nate got to go to his auntie's birthday dinner at The Reef, which has very fine food and very very lovely pitchers of Mojitos. He was admired by a large number of the hard working and lovely women of JJ Bean.

Today Nate had his first real haircut (other than the bits I manage to snag off once in a while) and he was very well behaved according to the stylist. I will be sure to post a picture.

Today I bought an ipod for myself. And not a little ipod. A big sucker. I've been wanting one for a while and just decided to go for it. Thing is that I'm feeling so guilty about it I haven't even taken it out of the bag. I don't need it. I'm not a hard core tech junkie, and it's not like anyone really needs an ipod. Nonetheless I want it. For those who don't know it already, I do two things when I'm nervous. I eat. I shop. I've been embroiled in this icky situation at work lately which came to a head on Friday JUST BEFORE I LEFT FOR VACATION. No kidding. Lucky me. So I've been thinking about it and eating and shopping. One chocolate cake in the 'fridge and one ipod in my bag = one Tirade entirely uninterested in going back to work. This would be so much easier if I just kept my head down and didn't worry about stuff like accountability, responsibility, and teamwork. Silly Tirade.

So here I sit bloated from eating cake and staring at a shiny black new toy.

If I take the plastic off, I have to keep it.

I'm so like my mother.

2007-08-01T20:39:00.000-07:00

I came home from work today and Justin said, "Guess what? Nate went on the regular swings today." And I was like "WHAT? BY HIMSELF?!" Then I ranged into a rant about how it's not safe for him to do that yet and he's not old enough and if he falls and cracks his head open how Justin'd be sorry to have to haul a screaming bleeding and hurt child into the emergency room and how now Nate will expect to go on the big swings from now on and it's not pretty you know when the bleeding and stuff and x-rays blah blah blah. I still feel like I was right and it is far too soon for Nate to be on the big kid swings for all of those reasons. HOWEVER, I can't help but think of my mom when we visit Halifax, 'be careful of this,' or 'don't let him bump his head,' or 'watch out for that.' I have oh so smart and tough answers about how he isn't made of glass you know and he has to learn some things on his own and how we can't protect him from everything. RIIIIIIGGHHT

So.

I have to get it into my brain that he will eventually get pretty banged up. I mean I had to get stitches more imes before I was 10 than I had dolls to play with. And getting hurt never stopped me. Now Nate has the potential to be at least that determined, destructive and stubborn. Still, part of me wants that to never happen, to never see him in pain, to wrap him up so he doesn't get hurt. I came upstairs to check my email and the picture above was on the computer screen, taking up the whole thing. I was so proud for him and happy for him and sad that I missed it I could have cried my eyes out on the spot.

Fuck this shit is hard.

Did I mention I still think I'm right about the swings?

What shall I be?

2007-07-29T21:31:00.001-07:00

Is it weird that I'm still trying to figure out what I want to be when I grow up? I've been in this weird mood about work the past little while. I'm looking around and sussing things out and asking myself what my future career plans are. Do I want to stick with this government thing? If so, do I want to go into a management stream, try to fit somewhere else or move to a different department alltogether? I have sort of been asking myself these questions as I've been rolling along but they haven't consumed me to this point. Now that I know I don't want to be an academic the PhD has lost a little bit of its usefullness (in terms of finishing it any time soon). I've been so many things in my work life to date; researcher, retail shop clerk, office manager, legal advocate, student, teacher, case manager, facilitator, house cleaner, receptionist, project manager, and even a telemarketer once way way in my past. I've been lucky enough to mostly find interesting work in my life and have enjoyed most of it, but lately I've been wondering what happens when I get bored. It sounds a little weird but when I no longer find things challenging and I stop learning new things I get bored (when I get bored I get cranky). Does this bode well for my future as a person who has like 30 more years in the workforce? I also have the opportunity to take some classes in my current job, but I'd really like them to be as useful as they can be to whatever I want to do next. But I don't know what that is. See where I'm going with this?

Well, I'd better get off to sleep so I can not be late for work tomorrow.

Cheeky so and so...

2007-07-29T21:23:00.000-07:00

This is on my desktop currently. It is a great picture 'cause you can see the big boy he will turn into on of these days. It is also a really strange picture because Nate is really way more baby looking than this mostly.

Smells like rain

2007-07-21T18:19:00.000-07:00

Go figure, its Vancouver.

Hi there folks. Back from three weeks in the Maritimes. Okay, like I've been back for like three weeks or so now--and I have no excuse for not blogging sooner except thte following:

I've been cranky
I've been working (and not with lovely fun sitting on my ass eating bonbons stuff either, I've been busy at work which has been this past two weeks equal parts good getting work stuff done and being driven up the wall).
I've been being a Mommy when I'm not working (this is way fun mostly).
The rest of the time is basically devoted to sleep.

I have a million Tirades but will save them for a day when Nate isn't likely to start flinging food any minute because he ahs decided supper is over.

Our trip to Halifax was great but not at all like we expected. My chill child turned into a screaming, fitski of a Nateski. He decided that he wanted momma, momma, momma, all the time. Couldn't leave the house without him, wouldn't go to bed unless momma did it, wouldna let me out of his sight. Frack. This meant that Justin and I didn't even get a single date since Nate would wake up several times a night and wouldn't go back down for anyone else. Even if I hated my parents I couldn't subject them to the Nate in full fledged tantrum. My worst enemy maybe but not the woman whose loins I emerged from (or rather--whose abdomen I was cut out of). So it was a bit of a relief to get him back to his sleeping all night no fuss at bedtime routine (happened almost instantly).

Eek! Supper is over. More to come soon, possibly including the following topics:

Nate's New Words: a lexicon and guide.
I spy daycare on the Horizon
Tirade and why she needs to strangle a person a day for at least the next couple of weeks.
Why I want another puppy
Living like Kings in Halifax
Frackin Government
Frackin Summer TV
Fracking
Facebook: friend or Foe?
Why do I have so much stuff

Kay, later.

Weekend fun!

2007-05-21T20:53:00.000-07:00

Our friends Tiff and Ben and their daughters Pippa and Clara came to visit us on Friday and Saturday and we had the best time! Nathanial is in love love love with Clara and Clara seemed to like him as well (although not in the goddess like way Nate worshipped her). Pippa found true love with Snoopy, who loved her right back. Pippa is the one kid that doesn't mind when Snoopy licks her face. It even seemed to make her giggle. Snoopy, in a stunning display of affection and reciprocity, let Pippa crawl after him, touch his nose, pat him, and generally be all over him. Snoopy likes all the childrens, but I think Pippa has a special place in his heart. We took some pictures and hope to have them up soon. For me it was lovely having Tiff and Ben come for the weekend. First, it's awesome to have other parents around since most of our friends don't have kids, but mostly it's cause they are so great to be around (I know you will read this Tiff and I'm not just trying to score points!), and we have history y'all. We've known each other for so long but hardly see them and they us, and I can't help thinking that I want them around all the time so our kids can grow up together, and we could garden together and stuff (okay now I'm getting all smushy). We love you guys!

Today we had a lovely coffee date with Lori and Paul and Sosi, and Sosi had the best new haircut! That little girl is just too cool for school. JJ Bean was just hopping so we sat outside and didn't even get rained on. Lori and I went shopping up Main Street, drinking Chai and enjoying the time as only escaped mummies can. As mummies, we also had to make obligatory purchases for our offspring (he needs shorts and she would look adorable in this dress) but also managed to score some very very cool shoes for our fine selves. I had a fantastic time and am just a bit sad that I'll have to wait for fall to wear my warm Camper boots (50% off y'all-how to resist?).

It's back to work tomorrow and probably more overtime this week, but I'll have the lovely warm glow of the weekend to keep me company.

I'm annoyed

2007-05-03T21:30:00.000-07:00

There are too many multigenerational quirky womeny movies starring Jane Fonda and whattsername...Diane Keaton, that's it (or of the JF, DK ilk). I was going to say that this is an unfortunate trend, but it isn't...it's a whole thing isn't it? Like all women are smushy and we will automatically be absolutely charmed by this sort of thing. Blek.

And tonight's Grey's Anatomy is just an excuse to sell this new spin off show, which I am already not so much sold on.

And Anaheim just knocked Vancouver out of the Stanley Cup.

I gotta tell you that today has been a mixed bag of weirdness ending with Tequila, yes folks today merited a Tequila or three.

Mostly cause I am annoyed.

I need to update

2007-04-30T22:20:00.000-07:00

I'm not dead.

I will post soon.

Field trip

2007-04-16T21:00:00.000-07:00

Today we took Nateski to the Vancouver Aquarium and we all had a blast! Nate's favorites by far were the jellyfish, and the small children's area called Clownfish Cove. We sat out in the rain and watched the beluga whales and ate grilled cheese sandwiches and a good time was had by all. The top picture is Nate and his new best friend, a squeaky rubber beluga whale.

My sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet

2007-04-15T23:46:00.000-07:00

boys.

They are the best. I adore them. They make me all smushy and soft-like. One is furry, one drools and the other smells like coffee!

As you can probably tell, no one is sick this week and everyone is happy and it was a sunny day today and some of yesterday and I have tomorrow off and no one is sick. Plus I've booked our trip home to the 'fax for three glorious weeks in June and am looking forward to Halifax in the summer (well, almost summer really) like nobody's business.

And the 'Nucks won against Dallas tonight in a nail-biting overtime period.

I have to go to sleep now while all is still good.

butterflies, kitties, fluffy clouds

2007-04-08T15:44:00.000-07:00

I wish I could be all cheerful, cause it seems like I've been complaining a lot lately (and I know I have), but right now y'all, I feel the crap. I've had two super-long weekends in a row. This sounds like fun, yes? No. Last weekend I got the stomach flu that was going around the office and spent about 24 hours in absolute hell, and the next week in purgatory. In the middle of my stay in purgatory Justin goes down hard and fast. As a consequence of this I am exhausted y'all. I know I've said it before, and my experience is only a pale wisp of a ghost of an outline of a shadow of what single mother's face, but single mothers are awesome and I seriously don't know how they do it. With Justin down, I was basically on my own with Nate and Snoop for about four days (well, I tried to help out Justin with the sick as well). I can not convey to you how much this sucked. I shall not go into detail. My experience leaves me with a greater appreciation of women who go it alone and a terrible cold sore that I'll be sporting for a week or two. So no sunshine and rainbows for me today.

In happier news, Nate got a new Easter hat (a tradition started by my mother a long time ago) and a pail, shovel and other assorted sand toys for taking to the park or beach. My mom bought him a raincoat and splash pants, lots of Easter candy (yummy says momma), a book, and some brand spanking new yellow rubber boots. Nate is fascinated by the boots and goes for them every chance he gets. Nate knows nothing about the bunny yet, so I figured we'd save the egg hunt for another year or so.

In another great Easter tradition, I am looking forward to stopping by my local grocery store for sale Easter candy tomorrow.

I covet little candy bunny eyes.

What the?

2007-03-22T20:38:00.000-07:00

Has anybody else noticed the marketing of adult cereals with "chocolatey" bits in them recently? Okay, first "chocolately" does not mean there is chocolate, so stop trying to convince us that this is chocolate we are eating 'cause it is not. Second, don't tell me how low in calories it is. If I want chocolate, I don't give a frack about how many calories is in the damn thing, I WANT CHOCOLATE. Third, if I want chocolate (which I think we have already established, your honour, that I do), what is going to make me think that I really want cereal instead? "I want a chocolate bar, hmmmmm-no I think I'll just have some cereal instead." Who has this conversation with themselves (or anyone else for that matter)? Jesus-H-Christ on a piece of toast, just get a frigging bag of M&Ms and get on with it already.

Anyhow, a big treat my my beloved for you all. He has gotten around to getting our video camera tape on the digital thingamie bob. This means (what, you didn't understand from my completely technical explanation?) that all of the video we have been taking of Nate will make it's way onto the computer!!!!! Prepare to be bored y'all. The first instalment is a lovely little bit of Nate and Snoopy having some fun.

S'all for now.

Kiss me

2007-03-20T20:24:00.000-07:00

I'm Irish, well sorta. Ancestrally you know? Just kiss me anyhow dammit!

The world is chok a block with babies the past little bit. Two of my friends have recently had little girls, one in Australia and one just down the street. They are totally adorable! They make me think of when Nate was just a little 'un. I really miss it. He was so tiny. Not that I'd trade him or anything 'cause he's lots of fun. If you ask him now what a cow says, he consistently says something between "boo" and "moo." I think he's got sheep down as well, but we won't commit to that one yet. Oh, and he likes to wear food on his head. Noodles mostly, and the occasional bit of roast beef.

Just a little peek into the life. I'm going to get my hands on some chocolate.

You ever just want to...

2007-03-15T20:23:00.000-07:00

Jam your face into a pillow and scream until you just can't anymore?

Sit down and have a good cry for no really good reason at all?

Glower at everyone who even looks like they might not subscribe to your world view?

Visit horrible acts of violence on people who wouldn't make room for you on the skytrain this morning, or talk too loud about ridiculous things on their cellphones or just LITTER?

Laugh hysterically cause there isn't anything better you can think of to do except jam something in your eye?

Take all of those things and combine them with a bone-deep weariness that makes you feel defeated in all things and that's been my last week or so on the hormone express. It doesn't matter what you say Ms. or Mr. Reader, or even what you think cause that's how it is. Actually, that's how it is light. It is actually much worse in reality. Maybe, just maybe hormones didn't cause all those things to happen, but you tell the seething cauldron of hatred, despair, moroseness, and rage that is barely contained within the limits of me that they had nothing-to -do-with-it-all-thank-you-very-much.

I swear sometimes there is just the finest thinnest skin protecting the world from the inside of me.

Drama Queen.

Hey there!

2007-03-07T19:24:00.000-08:00

Poor little Nate got his first year shots yesterday. Since then he's had a fever, which is normal. What isn't normal is that his nose is running, he's coughing (and crying every time he coughs cause his throat hurts) and he is very very unhappy. Is it possible that we are unlucky enough to have Nate get his shots just as he was coming down with a cold? Sure it is! He was miserable and clingy for most of the day. It's kind of terrible but I kind of liked the clingy-ness. He'd just snuggle down on me and watch Sesame Street, and except for the sick part I was in Mama heaven.

I forgot to post these video links for y'all of the not-sick Nate. One of Nate getting his first red packet at Chinese New Year, and the other of Nate in his fire engine hat, which except for this moment caught on film, he hates and won't wear.

You know what is stupid?

2007-02-28T20:26:00.000-08:00

Free health care that isn't free. I mean I come from a province where when they say you don't pay for health care--you don't. I move to BC and BAM! All of a sudden I have premiums. Premiums that are apparently extra confusing.

(If you aren't in the mood for a tirade then skip until the end)

So confusing that a professional woman trained in the administration of benefits cannot seem to understand how they work. I spent the whole day at work today emailing the benefits administrator trying to get my health care premium payments straightened out so that BC Medical Services wouldn't put me into collection. Apparently they hadn't received a dime from my work (even though my half of the premiums were being deducted from my pay cheque) for the entire time I've been back to work. All because the benefit chick (yes she is a CHICK) doesn't know how to do her job. First she tells me that I have to fill out forms and call people and that it is my fault cause I didn't tell the MSP folk that I had returned to work. When I call them they tell me they can't do it on my say so and the benefits administrator has to do that. When I tell her this she emails me the wrong form and then tells me I have to go on line to get yet another form which I am responsible for filling out and returning to MSP. This turns out also to be untrue. At this point I am wondering exactly what this woman does all day long, as she knows fracking nothing about benefits!!!! If I, a completely untrained in the way of benefits girl can figure these things out, then why can she not? Grrrrrrr. I mean it's not like they pay me to actually do a job while I'm at work is it? If she had just bothered to check her information before sending off snarky emails, I would be ab-so-fracking-lutely grateful. Suprised but grateful.

Ahhhhhhh. That's better.

Happy Birthday Mr. Nate!

2007-02-27T17:31:00.000-08:00

Nate's officially one year and one day old. So strange looking back at how tiny he was (and blobby and grub-like in that baby way), and now he's walking and jibber jabbering (ah, working in a Mr. T reference any way I can) away and giving us a serious run for our money. You can see a video of Nate on his birthday here. He's an absolute freak for balloons!

More soon. In the meantime watch the video and revel in the cuteness that is Nate.

My day off

2007-02-19T17:00:00.000-08:00

and it is raining biblical-like outside. I had all these ambitious plans of going places and buying things today, but we just ended up staying inside. Not a bad day, just a very lazy one. Nate has been getting up late the past few days and having a late nap. This means that he doesn't have a second nap and gets pretty weird by the time five pm rolls around. He's not cranky so much as freaky. Laughing and crying at the same time and falling down a bit. Last night I tried hard and kept him up until 6:30 before he went down for the night and he still slept in until 7:30 or so this morning. I can't believe I've had about four days off in a row this week (long weekend plus a sick day that wasn't any fun) and I still don't quite feel rested. It is my brilliant conclusion that this is life as a parent. What I did do was catch up on at least two issues of Today's Parent magazine, which is now my new porn. I hafta say I'm loving reading the magazine. Mostly it has great articles on all the day to day stuff that you worry or wonder about (I only read it for the articles, honest). Some stuff is just general-like knowledge that I think will come in handy when Nate gets older.

It is about at this point (as I start contemplating how I'm going to cope with the terrible two tantrums, or what school we are going to put Nate in) when I ask myself if I miss the long-gone days of black eye liner and black combat boots, or the less long-gone days of the all night bursts of academic brilliance followed by weekends of partying, or the more recently gone days of splurging on expensive dinners and spur of the moment outings. Truth? Occasionally I miss the imagined freedom I had (we could just take off without having to worry about anything) before Nate came along (really though we had to factor in Snoopy before Nate). I also miss the lack of responsibility I had in previous incarnations of me (the student who only had to be responsible for feeding herself and her iguana). The truth is that I totally love the Mom thing.

I think I can live with being boring.

Damn Blogger 2

2007-02-17T21:22:00.000-08:00

Does anyone know why the text gets all smushy when I post a picture and put text under it? They say this version is better, but really I think not. Also, my pictures don't turn out uniform in size.

This picks at me.

Happy New Year!

2007-02-17T21:06:00.000-08:00

It is the year of the boar (or piggy, as I like to call it) so make sure your rice bins are full, avoid sweeping (you'll sweep out all the good luck!), and as with any other holiday, eat lovely food. We didn't get our act together this year for the New Year's dinner as we have in previous years, but there is hope for next year! Nate will get his first red packets tomorrow (I'm sure that it will take a few years to sink in that he gets money and this is a good thing to have). Tomorrow would be a day for visiting relatives with oranges and giving/accepting red packets for the children. Sadly, we don't have any family in town. This causes me some concern. I'm worried that Nate won't appreciate the Chinese part of his heritage, since we don't have Justin's folks close and we don't know any Chinese families here. I mean, I'd like to try, but it's hard for me to instruct Nate in a heritage that isn't mine and that his dad doesn't get particularly excited about. Maybe I worry too much. It's just that Nate has access to two very rich cultural backgrounds and I want to do right by him.

Of course, he won't know nuthin about nuthin just yet, so I guess I've got time to figure it all out.

I got cupcakes!!!!

2007-02-14T18:18:00.000-08:00

My honey made me the yummiest cupcakes for Valentines Day!!! I'm a lucky girl. I got him boston cream doughnuts which I felt, in the face of the hand made cupcakes, seemed kind of lame, but he says he's a happy camper with his custard-filled pastry. So happy Valentines Day y'all, (corporate created day to sell stuff we don't really need and get way too hung up over)whether the day means anything to you or not, you should take time to be nice to yourself (so cheesy - love yourself - but it is true ya know).

Boo hiss Olympics

2007-02-12T19:22:00.000-08:00

Continuing the hate-a-thon that is my blog with a nasty word or twelve on the coming Olympic games.

Today the news was chock a block with footage about the countdown to the Olympics, and stories about who should carry the frackin torch. I loathe the idea that the Olympics will be busting it's way into my home for many reasons. Both the provincial and municipal governments are spending tonnes and tonnes of cash on the stupid Olympics instead of on daycare spaces, housing for low income families, public transit that goes somewhere useful (instead of near the airport--'cause going straight to the airport would be too easy), community centres and generally providing children with education, food, and a place to live. The mayor is hawking an untried drug strategy instead of continuing programs that are working for people. Rents are soaring beyond belief so that people can't afford to live in the city.

It just plain hitches my wagon.

It is going to be crowded. I hate crowded. Crowded makes me pissy pissy pissy.

Also, everyone talks about how good this will be for the city, but I can't really see how. I mean, if you had property to sell in the city that wasn't your primary residence, or maybe sold Canadian flags, or maybe are a major hotel chain (or were the political leaders of a province or city and wanted to make it into the IOC someday). The supposed economic boost to the city isn't going to benefit the people who could use a few more bucks in rent subsidy, added day care spaces, a hot meal, etc.

It burns my ass that Gordon Campbell is getting so much play for this; the man who cut millions from legal aid, cut funding for women's centres, closed beds in health care facilities and instituted the infamous training wage allowing employers to pay paltry wages to 'new' employees.

Did I also mention I hate crowds? I'm thinking maybe we will take some time off and head for higher ground.

I only really like the hockey anyway.

I hate French

2007-02-11T20:02:00.000-08:00

Not the French, just french. I worked a really good rant up the other day and got it half blogged and blogger kablooyed and then I got twice as angry but in a deflated why-do-I-bother way and gave up. The anger has not dissipated so I'm going to blog and maybe it will go away.

So I signed up for French class at work thinking that it would be a good thing to learn and thinking I would expand my horizons and learn and grow and all that. Also, I like french and it would be good for my career and work was paying for it, so I figured why not?

First, I am convinced that the guy who assessed me was on some king of reality altering drug, cause the answers I gave I am positive didn't add up to the level of French I was placed in. Sure I know some french, but the level seemed a little iffy to me. Plus the assessor kept asking me odd questions like "Can you describe to me, in French, how to get to the boardroom?" I said "no, but I can't tell you in English how to get to the boardroom, either-I suck at directions." Okay. I suppose that wasn't the best way to answer. But it was the truth.

So I go to French class with a co-worker and I find out that everyone else has been in the class since October. October folks! Asti! How am I supposed to catch up to that? THEN they go through the last test they wrote, and I am quickly finding out that I am in the wrong level. It would seem deceptively easy and then WHAM, Tirade is beaten over the head with the french grammar. Stuff I've never even heard of.

Oh, did I tell you the part where they didn't have any course materials for me? The instructor basically said "oops, guess I'll have to order some more." (in french, I got that part) No mention on how long that would take, or really what I was supposed to do in the mean time.

THEN, because it took so long to go over the test, we didn't get any of the modules completed before the end of class, so she said "well, guess you'll have to do the next six at home and see you next week." No lessons, no nuthin. Apparently the instructor is just there for show, the book does all the work.

Did I mention that throughout the class the instructor would basically make fun of the students? She's say things like "you really should know this by now," and "that's easy, why can't you do that?" (of course she never said that to me cause I imagined I looked sufficiently pissed by that time). Nothing like a positive learning environment ladies and gentleman. By half way through the class I was thinking about how to fake some kind of emergency or start a fist fight with my co-worker to get thrown out of the building. After the lesson she and I had a major debrief and decided we weren't going to return. I talked to someone in another of her classes and she actually said that she found the instructor 'scary.'

So now I'm kind of scared of french, and I hate being afraid of things, so it makes me pissy. I am not sure whether I'll try again at any level. I know that I'll definitely not attend with that instructor. I'd rather take a staple gun to my own tender goodies than put myself back there.

So much for my fun learning experience. Next time I'll take up something more fun, like accounting.

I wonder if I'll feel less angry now?

Walk baby walk

2007-02-10T14:27:00.000-08:00

Hi there! How goes it?

Long time no see. It's a beautiful day outside, but Nate has a very hoarse voice and may be fighting a cold-so I think we will stay inside. He's still pretty chipper though. And he ate 1 1/2 fish sticks, broccili, a cracker and two cubes of blueberries for lunch. Is it starve a cold and feed a fever? Or the other way around? Who knows.

Further on the topic of Nate, he's walking lots now. All over the place. Walking walking walking. I described his walking like a cross between a drunk and a zombie. Still, he's walking. You can watch a video of him walking here. He's pretty damn pleased with himself, and is right this very minute walking around with a beanie puppy in one hand and tupperware in the other grinning his butt off.

I got a new haircut. I really like it. It is a very sharply inverted bob dyed red with white-blond highlights. I'm liking it a bunch and feel very good about it. Nothing like new hair to cheer you up. Work is going well. Really busy though. The workload is pretty crazy, but I enjoy it still.

Bad

2007-01-31T20:46:00.000-08:00

First bad work day since I've been back. Everything I did today went sideways into the crap. The crap folks. THE CRAP. It started out with me waking up late and rushing to work with a headache, bad slept on hair and that puffy, sleepy face you get when you don't wake up properly. It didn't get any better.

bitchy bitchy bitch bitchity bitch

Now it's over.

I pray that tomorrow is not tainted by it's proximity to today.

date night

2007-01-29T20:24:00.000-08:00

Justin was calling this my 'come hither' look. I'm hoping it's really not. If it is, I've lost my touch. But I like the photo.

mmmmmm....sushi

2007-01-29T20:21:00.000-08:00

20

2007-01-28T21:00:00.000-08:00

11) My first real crush was a guy named Jimmy Drake. We hung out for a while but he really liked quiet girls. The kicker is that I was trying so hard for him to like me (cool etc) that I totally missed this. I was 13 or so at the time.

12) I used to steal gum from the local corner store.

13) I was pretty sure I was going to hell for it, but it didn't stop me.

14) I honestly thought about becoming a nun once.

15) My feelings hurt easily.

16) I love comic books and sci-fi novels. I'm pretty much a nerd. This wasn't cool in any way shape or form when I was young.

17) I love AC/DC.

18) I hate jogging pants.

19) I have a very poor intuitive sense of direction but,

20) I'm good at reading maps.

The perfect day

2007-01-27T11:18:00.000-08:00

Yesterday was a wonderful day. It was sunny and lovely and Snoopy, Nate, Justin and me spent it together. It was a perfect mix of getting stuff done and spending time together. Justin, lovely man that he is, let me sleep in, made me coffee and vacuumed. How wonderful is that? We had a late lunch at Sushi Yama and Nate ate his first piece of sushi (a yam roll with shredded daikon and shitake mushroom). I gave it to him thinking he would play with it and instead he ate the whole thing, seaweed and all! And then he ate another half piece! My boy loves the sushi. We came home and all had naps and then Justin and I went out for an honest to goodness date! We went to Kalamata and had lovely lamb dinners and talked about stuff. Just stuff. But just being able to sit and chat alone and away from the house was pure loveliness. Lots of it was about Nate, but really that's to be expected. The restaurant we went to was the last dinner I ever had as a non-mommy. I went into labour about five hours after we ate there with friends. Eleven months later the whole world has changed. For the better.

I had a wonderful day.

And a great post to be my 100th.

His "Ginn face"

2007-01-24T22:02:00.000-08:00

10

2007-01-23T20:40:00.000-08:00

In the spirit of MamaT's list posted on her site a while ago, I'm wanting to share a hundred things about myself. But I think it might strain my brain so I'm going to do it ten at a time.

1) I was originally supposed to have been named Laurie, but my grandfather wouldn't hear of it, so Patty was my mom's second choice.

2) When I was little my brother and I made up a story about a spider who lived in the wall named Fang. We would send tribute to him every once in a while to make sure he didn't come out (we were and are both scared of spiders).

3) I like pineapple and pizza, but not pineapple on my pizza.

4) I've never read War and Peace

5) I love fall, its my absolute favorite time of year.

6) I am allergic to peaches.

7) I was born in the year of the dog.

8) I am a Scorpio.

9) I failed grade 12 math.

10) I have been and still am a teeny bit afraid of skeletons.

Nate the great

2007-01-23T20:04:00.000-08:00

has taken his first steps.

Actually, he took a couple a while ago but I wanted to make sure that they weren't total flukes before bragging about it. Now he is up to as many as four before he falls on his ass. Personally I believe that he could take more steps if he actually believed he could walk. We think it rocks, but Nate is convinced, I think, that crawling is still the fastest mode of conveying himself from one place to another.

Every night, after Justin gives him a bath, I give Nate a bottle and sing to him before he goes to sleep. I have discovered that I know very few children's songs...or lullabies...or songs I know all the words to. So sometimes I just make them up. Or sometimes they are very innapropriate. Or sometimes while I'm trying to think of something, songs will just pop into my head. Since he was born Justin and I have sung the wagon wheel song from the Old Crow Medicine Show, and Barrett's Privateers, that old Stan Rogers favorite. More recently the list has included:

The hockey night in Canada theme

Rio (Duran Duran)

Hotel California (The Eagles)

General Taylor (folk tune made popular by Great Big Sea)

I Wanna be Sedated (Ramones)

anything I can remember by Sinead O'Connor (how's that for setting the bar high)

Farewell to Nova Scotia

numerous songs by The Cure

He seems to like just about anything if you sing it while rocking him, and it keeps me from getting bored. I do realise though that I will have to try to learn better songs for the future. I have made a start with Raffi, but those songs I only seem to remember when I'm in the middle of a meeting at work, or singing to myself in my cubicle.

Nice one, Tirade.

Weekend Happy Dance!!!

2007-01-21T12:12:00.000-08:00

So Justin had a dream last night that we had two Nathanials. I think he viewed it more as a nightmare, and I can see what he means. Nate has boundless amounts of energy. It is a cheerful and fun energy, but the kid is like the frickin energizer bunny (sans drum), and his poor tired old parents find it hard to keep up with him. He's been climbing the stairs a lot lately, and has figured out how to climb other objects as well. We are absolutely proud and totally dismayed by this at the same time. I'm also going to yank on my proud mommy hat and tell you another thing that my child has started doing lately. He puts himself to sleep!!!!! Yes indeedy, they told us this day would come but I didn't believe it! At bedtime we give him a bottle and cuddle him when he finishes it for a little bit. Then we put him into his crib and cover him up. Nate usually grabs his sucky, puts his head down and closes his eyes!!!!!!! That's it y'all! he just goes to sleep. It may not last, but who the hell cares. It is fracking fabulous for as long as it lasts.

I read a whole book last night after I put Nate to bed. This is a luxury that I have not had for a very long time (or so it seems). I remember the good old days of reading far into the night. It wasn't a particularly literary book, but I thoroughly enjoyed it. I left the house in a shambles, totally ignored the phone, laundry etc and just read. It was heaven.

Unfortunately all that stuff still needs to be done.

Still alive

2007-01-17T18:34:00.000-08:00

Goddamnit! I can't believe it's been so long since I've posted anything. I apologise to all of the three of y'all or so who look me up from time to time. I'm settling in nicely to the life of working in an office again. Cubicle living is okay. EXCEPT. It is too frickin hot, all the time hot. Hot hot hot. Like the-sweat-on-my-ass-has-sweat-on-it's-ass hot. See, you can't please all o' the folks all o' the time, and some people are actually cold in the hot box of heatedness that is my daily environment. The temperature in the office is of continuous discussion by those who dwell in the cubes. But y'all that sucker is hot.

The other thing is that I am surrounded by the loveliest women at work, both in disposition and countenance. I feel so frumpy and all crazy mommy-like and I'm flanked by twenty somethings who have all the latest boots and fashiony gear and have gorgeous hair and actually have and take the time to wear make-up to work. ARRRRGHHH! They are such great people that I can't possibly hold it against them.

And ain't that a pisser?

This work thing

2007-01-05T20:05:00.000-08:00

really cuts into my blogging. I'm a tired little federal employee at the end of the day. I'm liking it, though. The best thing is the people. I'm pretty much a people oriented person (a pop if you will). I like chatting and being around folks in general.

Nate is snotty snotty snotty. Where does all the stuff come from? There is a constant stream of mucus dripping out of his tiny button nose. He is standing up all by himself, bouncing up and down, and balancing pretty well. I'm afraid this will very soon morph into walking.

More tomorrow, tired girl has scrambled brains

Happy first day!

2007-01-01T21:46:00.000-08:00

I don't really have any resolutions cause I resolved long ago to not have any resolutions. We've had a good year this past year and just want things to keep going on. I have a tid bit of advice for just about everyone I know and here it is: STOP being so frackin' hard on yourselves. I know many many people who are waaaaay tougher on themselves than anyone else could ever be (and yes, it takes one to know one). So. I say cut yourself some slack, sit on your couch and eat chips or bon bons or celebrate any way you like, but celebrate all the good stuff about you, cause god-help-my-poor-tired-ass you deserve it.

Oh yeah, and send kisses.

A closer look

2006-12-31T08:45:00.000-08:00

Merry Christmas Mr. Nate!

2006-12-31T08:38:00.000-08:00

Nate with some of his booty from under the tree. He is still a little snotty from his cold. These fabulous little bath toys are courtesy of his aunt Heather, Uncle Juan and Cousin Erica. They have to be the cutest toys I've seen in a long time and Nate adores them (so doews Snoopy, he keeps snapping them up and trying to run away).

A day for boxing?

2006-12-26T11:06:00.000-08:00

Boxing up the gifts? Boxing up the tree? Forget it--I'm keeping the damn tree for as long as it looks good (and it still does). I'm against boxing stuff, and really just boxing in general (so there!). We had a lovely day yesterday. It was purty mellow and all. Nate has a nasty cold that made him a little crankster sometimes, but mostly he was a dimmer version of his normally happy self. He really liked opening his first gift, but was kind of done after that. We unwrapped the gifts for him and he played with them the rest of the day. Our phone was doing really really wonky things yesterday for more than half the day, so if you tried to get in touch with us or were waiting for us to get in touch with you, we apologise (you can say you tried even if you didn't- one of those make Tirade feel good lies). I was thinking I'd try to go shopping today but I think I'll stay home, it just seems too stressful. Also making of the traditional post Christmas turkey soup, turkey pot pies etc will commence. And I feel like I haven't made nearly enough cookies yet. Justin got me a little book with 40 cookie recipes for my stocking and there are some very yummy looking prospects.

Cheer!

2006-12-23T18:31:00.000-08:00

Lo y'all.

This seldom posting thing is a bit hard to get used to, and then when I have the time to blog I'm too tired to be my normal witty and chatty (well, chatty at least) self. I have five days off in a row folks, and that is music to my ears. Not that I had a really long week. I had a Christmas lunch, a kids party, and a lot of chatty catching up stuff this past week. Not to mention a cubicle to stuff full of useless bits of my life, a computer to break in, and a desk chair to re-adjust for my butt. Justin brought Nate for the kids party and we had a great time. Nate got to hang with Santa again and crawl around on the boardroom floor and watch his momma decorate a gingerbread house. Hopefully there will be pictures soon.

I'm really liking being back to work and it seems like Justin and Nate and Snoopy are having a blast without me (I'm just a teeny bit jealous, but seeing them together make my little heart go pitty-pat). Justin is working today and I've had a full dose of Natty-all-to-myself medicine (it is good for what ails me). I made Nate his own Christmas stocking today to join all of ours on the mantle, and tonight I sang him carols until he went to sleep (and almost cried). This being a mom thing is sometimes way cooler than I ever thought it could be.

'nuff said

Grrrrr

2006-12-19T19:40:00.000-08:00

I was almost finished a lengthy post on my first day of work and then POOF, it disappeared into thin air (goddamn your eyes blogger). I am so not posting it again cause, y'all I'm tired. So in a nutshell:

I returned to work on Monday, not Friday.

Friday bad for some unknown reason (seriously they told me to come on Monday instead).

Work is pretty fun with some very nice people telling me that they are happy to see me and saying very nice things.

First day I missed Nate but not too much.

Second day (today) I was very very conflicted between liking my job and staring at pictures of my child feeling like I needed to run home and hug him immediately.

I like work though, and it's nice to be back.

Taa Daa!

Must lie down now.

Santa

2006-12-15T08:09:00.000-08:00

A will of steel

2006-12-13T21:25:00.000-08:00

So Nateski has some serious attitude. I mean I kind of expected it, but not for a little while longer. He has decided that no food will pass his lips that has not been stuffed in his mouth with his own little hands. This leaves me scurrying to find things he can eat (he has rejected diced carrots and squash so far). Today he ate little bits of broccoli for lunch with his mac and cheese and then later tonight managed some diced yams. If you try to feed him he goes from cheerful little dude to pisssy little so-and-so before you can but blink your pretty eyes. For pureed fruit he will sometimes make concessions. I am starting to realise that there may be some all out freaky battles in our house in the years to come. Today I found out that he like pizza crust a lot and that he is capable of spitting out pureed food quite some distance.

Tomorrow we are taking him to see Santa at the local mall. I'm kind of curious to see how he takes it. Did that just sound like some kind of social experiment? My little brother was terrified of Santa from the get go and never, NEVER liked him. Ever. All the pictures we have show me grinning my ass off while my brother, well, not so smiley. Anyhow, Nate is pretty laid back and I think he's gonna like Santa.

We shall see.

Only two days left

2006-12-13T09:34:00.001-08:00

I'm returning to work on Friday. It's kind of a weird day to return to work, but I just picked the 15th at random and it turned out to be a Friday. As it happens, I was kind of smart to do it this way. I'll have a day to get oriented, the weekend off, then a week to work, then the Xmas break, (where I'll be off for some days), then a couple of days back and then new year. So it is kind of a graduated return to work. I was all smart without knowing it. It also gives Nate time to adjust a bit more to not having two parents home most of the time to do his bidding.

I have this huge list of stuff still, and am beginning to face the fact that I'll always have a huge list. There are a few more important things that must get done, but overall I think we are ready logistically (if not emotionally). My favorite thing off the list yesterday: baking. I made biscotti (my favorite and time consuming baking yummy). I'm gonna post some pics cause they turned out pretty well. I made candied ginger/dark chocolate, cranberry/white chocolate, and cranberry/almond/white chocolate. I'm hoping to get a bundt cake and a bunch of cookies done in the next couple of days, we shall see.

In the meantime I think I deserve a coffee, and some biscotti.

Anyone remember this girl?

2006-12-12T08:45:00.000-08:00

One of the few pictures I have of myself from my teen years (I got it off of the halifax locals page, someone else posted it). I must have been about 16 or 17 then. Y'all, I'm old.

Reno joy addendum.

2006-12-12T08:41:00.000-08:00

Isn't it lovely? Ok, maybe it's only me.

Reno joy!

2006-12-10T08:20:00.000-08:00

Yesterday Justin and Paul planned, gathered, and installed shelving in our pantry (formerly a mush mash of scattered shelves baskets and bags) and in the living room. I am close to ecstasy, y'all. I know I've become all boring in recent years and this pretty much confirms it. I can't help it, I'm in the throws of a perpetual organisational orgasm (just in time for the holidays). I will post pictures, really I will. I'm that excited.

For all you u-tubers out there, check out this video posting by a friend of mine from waaay back (howdy Neb!). Good thing I wasn't consuming liquid at the time of viewing.

If you are fond of coffee (as you know we are), organic and fair trade practices, and want to support women owned and run collectives check out the Cafe Femenino Foundation and encourage your local independent coffee shop to check it out!

Students were giving out free hugs in downtown Vancouver yesterday, how cool is that?

A little weird, but cool.

Oh Xmas tree, oh Xmas tree

2006-12-07T21:35:00.000-08:00

Or something thereabouts. We had tonnes of fun tonight decorating the tree with our friends Paul and Lori and Sosi! Nate didn't seem to care too much about the tree, but loved trying to eat the boxes that the ornaments came in. Sosi was completely adorable, hanging things on the tree and handing us, very carefully, the glass bulbs. We listened to lots of Christmas music and I tied a very un-manly-like bow around Snoopy's collar that Justin insisted had to be removed before he took Snoop for his walk this evening.

We had a really lovely day.

See, for the last few days I've been every once in a while saying to myself "I have to remember to talk about that in my blog." I do this often, and then I promptly forget whatever it was I was going to mention. it's been like that today. Crap. Oh well.

Mr. Nate is very well and fine. He's totally into mac and cheese now cause he can feed it to himself. The problem with this being that he can't eat mac and cheese every day and he gets mortally offended if I try to feed him non finger food from a spoon. Snoopy is loving this. He stations himself under and to one side of the high chair and waits for stuff to fly. Last night Nate managed a few bits of apple as well.

I feel like very soon he's going to ask me for a cheeseburger.

17 years ago

2006-12-06T17:06:00.000-08:00

A horrifying thing happened. Y'all know what it was. It wasn't on the front page of any paper this year, nor was it the lead story on the local news. On this day every year I try to stop and remember the women who died in Montreal 17 years ago, as well as all women who have been or are beaten and killed for no other reason than that they are women. I am both incredibly pissed off and profoundly sad that women are still being stabbed, raped, shot, degraded, blamed, and mutilated (all while holding the world's economy on their shoulders). Having worked in the anti-violence movement for some time I have seen a bunch of changes, some good, and some not so good. What I haven't seen is renewed and significant funding in this country to ensure the safety of women fleeing violence and support for women facing violence, nor the condemnation of violence against women in the legal system. What I haven't seen is absolute zero tolerance for violence against women in all areas of life. This sickens me. Today in Vancouver jury selection for the Robert Picton trial begins.

So today, or whatever day you read this, hug your mom or sister or daughter or neighbour and value the women in your life. Thank the powers-that-be for the non-violent men in your life, raise your sons to abhor violence. Remember the women who have died.

The countdown begins!

2006-12-01T08:34:00.000-08:00

Only 15 days until I must return to work, and 24 days until happy present day! Talk about sneaking up on ya! As usual I feel unprepared for everything, but I have a strategy for getting semi sorta maybe on top of things. I have clean bathrooms, which is a great way to start December (I'm being serious, clean bathrooms make me very happy). I have this great new mom's calendar what makes me feel like I am getting organized. I have a lovely husband that installed baby gates and curtain rods in my house (in addition to making me latte every morning).

Nate is having a bit of a crap time at the moment. He is teething again (the teeth on either side of his two front teeth) and they must hut like the dickens. Under his gum on one side is a huge blue/purple spot where he is bleeding under the gum. Poor little boober. He is standing up on his own now for at least a few seconds at a time. He does this mostly without knowing it, and when he notices he immediately falls down.

Snoopy has pretty much recovered from his tooth being pulled. Last week Justin noticed that his tooth was cracked and it turned out that he had split it in two. Six hundred bucks later our little Snoop is minus a tooth but in very good spirits.

Justin and I are currently in negotiations about how soon we can get the tree. I'd get it today if he let me.

I love Christmas.

Let it snow, let is snow, let it snow!

2006-11-27T08:44:00.000-08:00

Its a freakin' winter wonderland out there today. Justin is inordinately pleased, Snoopy is chilly and the rest of Vancouver is a tad flummoxed. As it happens every year, the city is freaked out by snow (even though we live in Canada and it do snow here in Vancouver at least a few times per year). I am a snow bystander, so it really doesn't bother me all that much. I shall just bide my time and wait for the nuttiness to end.

Nate graduated to toast fingers yesterday with pear puree on top. He seemed to like the squishiness of them and mauled them more than ate them. He did manage one in total. He is not happening with vegetables as finger foods (spits them out with the most disdainful look). I think we shall stick with toast, cheerios, and baby mum-mums for now. He even will eat a bit of grated cheese every now and again.

Today I am wrapping Christmas presents (they are Christmas presents, not holiday presents, even though I am not invested in any kind of religiosity) to send back to the East coast for ma famille. I must must must clean my house. I've been dragging my lazy butt about this it seems like forever and today I am going to try to get a few rooms done.

But first I must watch Jon Stewart.

Priorities.

Go nucks go!

2006-11-25T22:45:00.000-08:00

Things happen when I'm left alone in the house with just a computer. Weird things. Shopping things. Tonight I was checking out my email and got some crap junk mail from eBay. What did I do? You know, dontcha?

You do.

I went a browsing. I went a buying. As a result Justin and I are going to see the Nucks vs. Oilers at good old GM place! I was going to keep it a secret, but what the hell--I can't keep fun hockey news to myself. Besides--I won (see what eBay does? only they can convince you that spending money is winning). OOOOOHHHH I'm a winner. Yep. A big winner. Win win win.

After I bid I spent an agonizing few minutes deciding whether or not I actually wanted to win.

Did I spend too much?

Could we afford it?

Would Justin be excited?

Could we get a sitter?

Was I being stupid?

Y'all, ever since Justin came to live here (and became a huge hockey fan) I have talked about how I wanted to take him to a game, but it had never worked out.

And there it is.

An eBay adventure.

Are you awake? How 'bout now?

2006-11-24T10:58:00.000-08:00

This was yesterday's title. I got up all grumpy because someone from the payroll department in Ottawa called me at 4:30 am to discuss my return to work. It seems that they forgot all about the time difference. Sheesh, Upper Canadians. I didn't really get back to sleep so yesterday was fun city. I also got my eyes tested yesterday and they are apparently worse for the wear of having a baby. My optometrist informed me that having a baby (and all the hormones etc) either makes your eyesight better or worse. The catch is it can go either way, and it is permanent. The good news in all of this is that I still need glasses for reading and computer work but I now need to wear them for movies and for driving at night (not a big deal since I don't drive).

Last night I went over to my friend Lori's place and got to spend some quality time with her daughter Sosi. We had a blast, she and I. I think we were both really excited to just hang without the baby around. She got 100% of my attention and I got to concentrate on the pure fun of playing. We watched Raffi (thanks Tiffany and Clara for the Raffi DVD introduction)and sang and danced and played dollies.

Raffi rocks.

You know, before I had a kid I kinda thought he was creepy.

Go figure.

Sleep baby sleep

2006-11-22T08:07:00.000-08:00

So, we are having more Mr. Nate-sleeps-through-the-night nights than not. This makes us so very happy I can't even tell you. He's been going to bed at 7pm and getting up at 7am (sometimes even 8am!) most nights. Of course by saying this I've jinxed us, but I'm not going to think about it. He is still up there slumbering away and it's 8:03 am.

In other news, the boil water advisory is still in effect. We are doing just fine y'all, ignore the news, if you are getting it. I heard that Canadian Tire distributed flats and flats of water to people in the Downtown East Side (for those of you who are unfamiliar with this area of Vancouver it is a region that contains the most homeless people and urban poor). This makes me believe in corporate responsibility just a little bit, and I have resolved to buy things there more often.

I've been in a bit of a blah thinking about going back to work. I love my job and work with some amazing people, but there be just so much to do before I go back that I get a bit panicked. I want to return to work with as much set up here for Justin as possible so that it is less overwhelming for both of us. I'm going back on the 15th of December. The crap news is that I still don't fit my pre-pregnant clothes very well and have to buy a few things until I take care of that. Ugh.

There's my baby now!

Gotta run.

Don't drink the water

2006-11-18T22:03:00.000-08:00

Seriously, don't drink it. Vancouver has issued a boil water advisory for the last few days. Boiled or not, I wouldn't drink the stuff anyhow cause of the very funky colour it is straight out of the tap. Bleck. People, because of this water advisory, have lost their ever-loving minds. It's like some apoca-frickin-lyptic mob mentality. People are filling shopping carts full of big bottles, little bottles, evian, whatever they can get their hands on. They are screaming at cashiers, lining up forever, and generally acting like there will never be another drop of water available EVER IN THE ENTIRE WORLD. We have water and things will be fine (that's my story and I'm sticking to it).

In more fun news, Mr. Nate is clapping now all on his own, is starting to do something approaching a wave and is eating finger foods! Cheerios are now my favorite things in the entire world. Wait for it and I shall tell y'all why. After Nate finishes his food, he will happily sit for another 15 mins or more if you deposit a small amount of Cheerios on his highchair tray. His eyes brighten, he reaches out with glee and snatches them up (they never really had a chance). It's almost creepy.

Things are all straightened up now after our little trip. The laundry is done and away, bags back in the storage, fridge filled and so on. The thing is we have such amazing and wonderful friends everywhere (thats y'all) it makes me sad that I can't just fold the damn country so we can be more a part of each other's lives. I feel like this even more now that we have Nate cause he should meet and spend time with all these incredible people.

Blah blah blah. I'm done feeling sorry for myself now.

I've got Tom Petty stuck in my head. That American girl song.

Bet you hate me now.

Home again, home again

2006-11-15T15:50:00.000-08:00

We had a lovely trip to Lethbridge to visit grandma Jo and Opa (who are as taken with Nate as Nate is with them), and then a fantastic visit with Mama T and her family. T's two daughters are absolutely beautiful and brilliant and lively and charming and wonderful, no surprise given their parents. We were so happy to touch base and spend time with their family, and Nate adored everyone (I suspect he has a crush on Clara, even though he and Pippa are close in age and Mama T and I are considering a marriage contract). Clara was incredibly patient with Nate, letting him crawl around after her and take her toys and so on. She is such a little momma bear, helping with the little ones and is very patient with them. Nate will henceforth be known as Mr. Nate (Clara patiently explained that he was Mr. Nate because "hims a he"). Pippa seems like such a self-possessed baby. She is happy to be on the floor rolling over and gurgling and giggling and playing on her own with as little or as much attention as you are wanting to give her (very very much attention in my case, my hands just itched to hold her). I will post more pictures when we get them all sorted out, but I just had to post this one.

Makes me want to have more kids y'all.

Dangerous.

Messy baby

2006-11-06T11:06:00.000-08:00

He's eating like gangbusters now. Nate hates being in the highchair and really dislikes bibs, but food, especially fruit of any kind, is consumed post haste. The new front teeth are working out pretty well too! Except he bit Justin trying them out (snicker).

We saw our friend Jack off this morning, she is on her way to Australia for a well deserved trip. As much as we will miss her, we know she is going to have a fabulous time.

I posted pictures of the pumpkins we carved at Halloween, as well as the laksa I made on my birthday.

Favorite things

2006-11-06T10:55:00.000-08:00

Happy Birthday Momma!

2006-11-03T07:53:00.000-08:00

Today is my birthday! This year I pretty much forgot when it was and when November was coming and what day it was at any given point. There have been so many things to do since we got back from Halifax. Justin made me the bestest birthday latte this morning, and I had a wonderful morning cuddle with my lovely Nate who beamed at me when I got him out of the crib (like I was a superstar -- who can beat that?).

We didn't get any kids for Halloween, sadly, but we did carve some fantastic pumpkins (I will post pictures as soon as we download them). Today I'm making Laksa for dinner and I'm totally looking forward to it. I found some fresh laksa leaves at the market and some lovely galangal.

It's hard to believe that this time last year Nate was still inside. I can't imagine life without my family.

I'm a very lucky girl.

Look ma -- more teeth!

2006-10-31T10:55:00.000-08:00

Little Nateski has two top teeth (after more than three weeks of crappy pain and some blood and lots of discomfort and children's Advil)! He's almost back to normal after his big trip and teething adventure. All he wants to do is stand up these days and is totally offended and pissy if you put him in his exersaucer. He is even resenting his stroller! I have to admit that I'm totally disarmed by his new toothy grin and am amazed at how much he has changed in the past couple of weeks (but then I always say that).

We have a pumpkin that we intended to carve days ago, but as of yet remains in it's natural state. I feel very unprepared for this Halloween and will consider this one a non starter. I promise to do better in the future with the pumpkin and costume and candy apples and house decorations and stuff. Y'all I'm feeling a little overwhelmed since I got back, and time is a flyin' and I'm uneasy at the small amount of stuff I've managed to accomplish since Nate has joined us in the world. I feel like there is so much I want to do with him and for him and I'm just not measuring up somehow. I know this is stupid, but I feel like that anyway and plan on having a nice long talk with myself in the shower today (that's when I listen best).

Today's hopeful list of stuff to do in no particular order:

put away laundry (neverending task)
shower (mama's hair is getting creepy)
go to capers and get food (I'm looking forward to this cause we have a giftcard and I plan to spend it on expensive organic produce)
make Nate's new supply of food (aforementioned organic produce)
clean up the house (ha! but we can try)
make dinner (tonight's menu features dry lamb curry, south asian singapore style, and sauteed okra with spices and rice)
give out candy (if we are lucky we shall have one or two kids)
do more laundry
sleep

Time to get started on the shower part of the day!

Back!

2006-10-27T09:49:00.000-07:00

Hey y'all!

A little more than two weeks has passed and everything is the same but different, if ya know what I mean. Same house, same stuff I left piled around, but from the new perspective of being reminded that it's my stuff, in my house, and that I'm an adult and have things (things to do, things to be, you know -- things). When I go back I tend to be in a weirdly liminal place of woman-child-ness. I'm in my folks house and they have their own routine and their own ways of doing stuff, and I'm in some ways thrown back to being the teen and early twentysomething I was before I left home (not that they treat me like this--it's just all those familiar patterns). I'm cared for in that mom does the laundry and the cooking for the most part and buys the groceries and stuff. It's nice for a bit but in the long term would drive us all crazy I think. Even being a mom doesn't change this dynamic all that much. Thus is the way of families I'm guessing. We had a lovely time and were sad to leave. I'm always a little sad/happy/confused after a trip home to the Haffalax. Sad to leave, happy to be home, confused cause our family can't be in two places at the same time.

Iffin you have never seen an autumn on the East Coast, put it on your list of things to do before you die. We had some lovely days of that bright sunshine and cool crispness that characterizes fall-ness (pumpkins, and apples and wood stoves and halloween and unpacking kids' snowsuits for the winter to come). The public gardens had not closed yet, so we took Nate for a walk to see the ducks and a long stroll on the waterfront (he was loving it). I took no pictures during our trip home, or no pictures I want to admit to. I am no photographer y'all, and I had our old camera which takes like a second between pressing the button and taking the picture so the few I did get were blurry. Justin is the photographer in the family, me not so much. So no pictures.

Nate loved being at the house with its roominess and tonnes of floor space to explore. He motors along now and you have to keep all eyes in a room dedicated to him or else he will find trouble trouble trouble. He has a new word that seems to actually mean something to him in a way that other sounds don't. He will look at you and say quite clearly "dat." If you don't do/say/have a reaction he wants, he then says "dat, dat, dat," and smiles, or grins or bangs something. So I say to him "dat" back, and he is usually quite pleased with that. He also wants to grab the spoon and feed himself, which doesn't really work at all. But gaud luv'em he's tryin (my best written Maritimer accent).

My parents were in heaven and my mom showed Nate how to make funny faces, taught him songs, spoiled him rotten, and needled me because I wouldn't let her give him ice cream yet ("just a little taste off the spoon" she said) as I'm doing an allergy introduction thing with him. My Dad played with him, sang his version of 50s and 60s greatest hits to him, and generally doted on him (he even changed a dirty diaper -- that's love!).

It has taken me the better part of the day to get this post together, so I think I'll click the little button.

It's nice to be home.

Going back to Hali

2006-10-09T11:04:00.000-07:00

Nate and I are off to Halifax tomorrow for two weeks. We are currently in packing hell and will be all day I expect. Nate's top two teeth are coming in and causing him quite a bit of pain and discomfort (and we are getting on a plane tomorrow -- eeeeek). I'm excited to be going home though, and I expect Nate will be happy when he gets there having grandparents to fulfill his every whim. My mom has furnished a room for him, complete with cartoon stickers on the walls and his own crib. This begs the question:

Are we going to get our baby back?

Ciao!

Thanks

2006-10-08T11:43:00.000-07:00

I really don't want to fall into the trap of being trite. But I never could avoid a trap even when it had a sign posted on it and big flashing lights saying "trap here, please don't fall into it." Kind of like how I can't keep myself from getting the last word in, making the obvious joke, or pushing whatever metaphorical big red button presents itself. Anyway, it is Thanksgiving weekend and this morning I've been thinking about giving my thanks to the powers that be, the universe, or whatever turns your particular crank, for the not suckingness of my life. I'm not particular about Thanksgiving as a holiday, because I think it is way messed up in colonial crapiness. Our ancestors got here and promptly screwed the First Nations (oh sure they invited them to dinner first) and haven't done much to thank them for their help since.

Nonetheless, just calling it Thanksgiving makes you think about -- well -- giving thanks. A few things I give thanks for are:

friends, 'cause life would really suck without them. I have the world's best friends who have stuck with me through tonnes of weird and wonderful stuff.
breastpumps, cause the last seven months would have been hell, hell, hell without one. You have no idea how awesome and necessary they are until you start breastfeeding. Either you know or you don't so I'll move on.
my job, cause I really like it.
chocolate (totally obvious).

I also feel the need to say how much I love and am thankful for my family. I've got the bestest partner in the world (no you don't, I do!), a fantastic kid who I learn something about and from every single day and a kind and gentle dog. I also have the best parents and siblings ever.

See, trite, but I can't help it.

Trite, but also disgustingly sincere.

'nuff said

Out on the town

2006-10-07T08:51:00.000-07:00

Last night we went to Habit for dinner with Nate. There were a couple of small snafus that made me pretty cranky. They apparently don't believe in high chairs. When I asked about it they told me they were afraid kids in high chairs might get stuff spilled on them, especially if they were positioned at the end of booths. I have to say that this didn't fly with me as I saw a couple of places where a high chair would have fit perfectly well out of harm's way (and they do have actual tables as well). This was kind of dissapointing y'all as I was told that this place (even though it is kind of a 'beautiful people' hang out for the main street hipster crowd) was pretty kid friendly. It might be kid friendly but not so baby friendly, and I'm starting to be able to make the distinction. So I ended up spilling a glass of water in my lap while holding on to Nate while Justin tied his hair up (cause Nate loves to pull on Justin's hair). Eventually they came up with a little booster contraption that had been squirrelled away and forgotten somewhere in the back of the restaurant that worked pretty well.

Nate played with his spoon, tupperware lid, ziploc bag (yep, we are bad parents and gave him his very own ziploc bag) and I bet was better behaved than most of the patrons on any given night. The dinger, y'all, is that the food was nothing to write home about in the end. We had a crispy tofu dish with mushrooms and spinach that was pretty good, orange pomegranate chicken wings which were okay, and a free range chicken corn tortilla dish that pretty much sucked (corn tortilla was cold and stale in some places and mushy in others, chicken was stringy and dry). All in all it didn't really live up to all the hype, and we've had much better food in other, sometimes cheaper and better places like The Bin 941 and 942, Vij's, Rangoli, and Toshi (some of these places are very baby friendly and some haven't been tested yet by us). Anyhow, Justin and I have always been foodies (any kind of food at any price as long as its good), and we will probably raise Nate as a little foodie. This makes baby/kid friendliness pretty important. Most places open at five and give us plenty of opportunity to get there before Nate turns into a pumpkin. I mean it's great to go out for a nice dinner just the two of us, but dinner with all of us is far easier to arrange.

In the end, the staff at Habit tried to be accomodating and were very cheerful and nice (one server had two kids and was very understanding), but the food just didn't cut it. For desert we split a lemon and cardamom creme brulee which was good (silky and nice), with pistachio cookies (mealy and dry). Are we condemned to eat at "family" restaurtants now for the rest of our days? I think not.

Mostly I'm in a pretty damn fine mood today cause The Battlestar Galactica season Premiere is tonight and we've been waiting for it for sooooooo long! Wahoo!

It's going to be a fracking good time.

Cripes

2006-10-05T19:52:00.000-07:00

I got my hair cut yesterday and I'm not feeling the love y'all. It's a bit short and I'm terrified I look like some kind of demented suburban soccer mom. Justin says not so I will believe him (I'd rather believe him cause y'all, denial is more than a river in Egypt).

Blek

2006-10-03T13:39:00.000-07:00

We are all down with a cold here, with Justin as the latest patient. The brightest eyes in the whole place belong to Snoopy who really doesn't get what we are bitching about. Despite being sick, Nate persists in a mostly cheerful manner, snot bubbles and all. He occasionally gets cranky-pants-clingy, but can usually be distracted into a decent mood. Being sick and having a kid is a new experience for me. You can't just go and lay down if you feel like it, can't just give up and sit on the couch and quit 'cause you got someone else to worry about who can't take care of himself. Justin and I have been spelling off each other so we can all have naps.

And today, your eye candy is a picture of Nate eating supper on the deck.

He is pretty darn cute in a touque.

Snuffy snuffy Nate and chocolate cake

2006-10-02T14:41:00.000-07:00

Nate has his first cold. His little nose is all runny, he has a bit of a temperature, and he's blowing his first little snot bubbles. He's dealing rather well though and is still pretty cheerful considering. Justin and I are a bit under the weather as well. It seems like the end of the summer cold is making its rounds. I'm not doing that badly y'all, cause I have a piece of vegan chocolate cake with candy hearts on top with my name all over it (it's actually not vegan this time 'cause I put butter in the icing). The anticipation of the cake will keep me going for a while. For now, I think I'll have a cup of tea and join Nate in a nap.

My nephew Evan @ 8 weeks

2006-10-02T09:43:00.000-07:00

Pictures of cuteness

2006-10-01T16:52:00.000-07:00

My baby tasting his fingers and my baby tasting coffee.

For Kathleen

2006-09-28T21:33:00.000-07:00

A picture of me because she has slow slow dial up and so cannot look at flickr close up or get photos via email (I had to say that so that y'all wouldn't think I was just a vain chick posting pics of myself for no reason). I took this a couple of days ago messing around with the camera. I was totally impressed with my eyebrows, which I had just had threaded the week before. It was really nifty and didn't hurt much. Wow the women who do threading are talented. That was too much information I suppose (about the eyebrows), but I'll let it stand.

Baby belly blues.

2006-09-28T14:42:00.000-07:00

I've been feeling pretty low on energy the past couple of days and can't quite shake a teeny bit of blah in the back of my brain. I'm wondering if its just the change in season. I usually feel pretty pumped in the fall, but this fall I'm not feeling the love. Also, I'm starting to hate my baby belly a bit. Now y'all, I've always had some belly, even when I was a skinny thing in my teens, but not like this. I saw a picture of my belly yesterday from when we took Nate to the park and yikes! For starters, it begins way up farther than it ever did, and it pokes out. This is not attractive at all. Hrrrrmmph. Partly I think I've not been too bothered by it until now cause my damn boobs were so big from the breastfeeding that it kind of balanced me out a bit and made my belly look more proportional. Now that they are getting smaller, I'm noticing. I'm not sure now whether I really want them as gone as I thought I did.

Anyway, enough about my bad body image crap (I'm stuck with my belly and the best thing I can do is get off my ass and start getting fit--It may not help my belly but I bet it will make me feel better). I just need to suck it up (ha ha) and get on with it.

I'm thinking the reality of going back to work is setting in. I'm starting to feel like time is short and I need to squeeze all the family time out of the next couple of months that I can. This makes me want to do all kinds of stuff with the kid and Justin, which makes me try to plan everything, which makes me a bit stressy, which makes me all cranky, which makes me not want to do stuff. See the evil cycle here?

As a very good friend of mine once said "snap the fuck out of it!"

And I think I already have.

Thanks y'all.

Shiny happy sunny!

2006-09-25T15:43:00.000-07:00

It's a lovely day in Vancouver, sunny with a temperature in the high teens and a lovely cool breeze (the kind of day I will dream about in the dreary, grey, rainy, damp, dark days to come). Nate and Snoopy and I went to the park and Nate had a swing. He loves them y'all and smiles and giggles the whole time. Also, he likes to lean his head way back and look at the sky as he swings. He looked so happy I wanted to cry.

The weaning is going well, although big boob is having a bit of a fit and refuses to take the hint that we no longer require it's services. Nate is gobbling up bottles like they are going out of style, and hardly seems to miss the boob (this makes me a bit sad, cause I miss breastfeeding a little).

Did I mention that my kid now weighs 19.5 lbs? He has almost outgrown his car seat (we are currently trying to find a new one). Tomorrow he will be 7 mos old. He still hasn't been on the outside as long as he was on the inside, but we are getting pretty close. He also has the crawling thing down now and is really really fast. We seriously need to do the babyproofing thing asap.

Mmmmmm, I've got chicken and rosemary stew in the crockpot and it is starting to smell pretty darn good. I'm loving my crockpot and am looking forward to a winter of quick and easy meals. We have had nothing but success so far with the crockpot, and even though you still can't make cookies in them, they are pretty good.

Nummy

2006-09-22T09:32:00.000-07:00

Most Upsetting

2006-09-21T23:50:00.000-07:00

I got kinda hooked (like a little bit pregnant) on Grey's Anatomy this summer because there was frack all to watch on TV. I had got to the point where I thought I had viewed all the episodes and was just waiting for the season premiere tonight (Justin was taping it cause we were having people over) with much anticipation. So it turns out that the damn episode I thought was the season finale last season was actually the second last episode of the season. So I've been waiting for the wrong damn episode and I missed all the juicy stuff that happened in the finale. Cheated by my own stupidity y'all. I can't believe it.

A new thing for the list of what annoys me:

Expired baby products on supermarket shelves. I've found expired formula (both concentrate and powder), expired baby cereal and expired baby food on the shelves of four different grocery/drug stores. The first time I actually got the stuff home before I noticed the date -- now I always look and try to take the products to the counter when I find them. See, if the stuff was for us I'd be a little annoyed but when it is for the child that I worked so hard squashing out and am kind of really liking and all, I get kind of pissed. An I know how this works, they have people who are supposed to check these items when they restock shelves. Like formula and baby food isn't bad enough already as it is. And I'd kind of like my child not horking up his guts unnecessarily.

Makes me happier that way.

Breaking up with boob

2006-09-19T08:48:00.000-07:00

We have been in the process of weaning for about a week now (I'm unsure as to whether Nate's weaning me or I'm weaning Nate) and I'm so not entirely sure how I feel about it. I had planned all along to wean Nate before I went back to work (looking like December) and it had seemed like now was the perfect time since Nate was waaay more excited about the bottle and was grazing the boob lightly and only for comfort most of the time. Also, the big boob was getting out of hand y'all. It was starting to feel like the boob that fed Vancouver. It was big, swollen, and cumbersome (not to mention painful when engorged). Little boob, on the other hand, had almost dried up and was something close to it's pre-breastfeeding size. I would look into the mirror in the morning and roll my eyes at the sight before me. Also another nursing bra had failed me.

Anyhow, enough with the justification. It is going really well and we are down to just one morning boob feed. I have the occasional attack of doubt about the formula full time thing, but that's just me I guess, and I'm trying not to over-think it (like I over-think everything).

Also, today is Nate's last round of shots, and I'm getting ready for the potential screaminess and swelling and crankiness. I'm really glad this is the last round y'all cause I'm a total wimp and can't bear to see the kid jabbed with needles (Justin has to hold him and I can't even watch). His crying breaks my little heart and I get to comfort him afterwards.

But I'd rather not have to do it at all.

Blogger drives me crazy sometimes!

2006-09-18T08:12:00.000-07:00

I've been trying to post some pictures here this morning and it just don't work. Don't blame me if you are missing the Nate's picture. Blame Blogger, or.....well.....just click on the flickr link and see him there.

It's less than a month until the Nate and I head off to Halifax to dazzle the grandparents with his brilliance. For myself, I'm looking forward to being there but not to travelling alone with Nate. In my head it is potentially way too complicated (even though I know it will be fine and that Nate will most likely be pretty darn good). Halifax in the fall is freaking fantastic (jeans sweater and jacket weather is my favorite weather) and I can't wait to go there and just soak it up, y'all. Plus I miss my mommy (pathertic isn't it?) plus I get to visit my new nephew (who is waaaay bigger than he was just a month ago), plus visit all my cool friends back East (you so know who you are). I however am not looking forward to sub-standard lattes so I'm switching to Timmy's for two weeks, it is much less painful and I like the Horton beverage ( I do not call it coffee).

Things that annoy me lately:

Young and perfectly able bodied people taking up the elevators at the sky-train stations and in malls. Seriously, there is usually an escalator or (gasp) stairs very close by. I watched a couple of teenagers, a young couple etc. get on an evevator AHEAD of a woman in a scooter the other day. What the hell! I mean I get pissy when they get on ahead of strollers because those of us with strollers don't have much of a choice, but the elderly and others with mobility issues have no choice at all! Stupid people. Meanies. Morons.

Oooooh, I got so pissy there that I forgot the other things that annoy me.

Oh yeah, The Canucks annoy me lately. Paying 1.9 mil for buddy. Got nothing better to do with your cash? And that new coach? He's gonna have something to prove to me. I really liked the Crow (and his very ugly ties). I know we've been sucking canal water as a team but this makes me all very nervous. Everyone should know though, that my opinions on hockey are based on lots of very important factors like the cuteness of players, how hard they try, have they ever been up on charges of beating their wives, etc. This is why I ended up last in the hockey pool last season.

Reality TV. But that has always annoyed me, so no big deal really except that the summer is full of it.

Speaking of coffee, I think I'm gonna have one now and stop thinking about all the things that piss me off.

Fluffy bunnies, chocolate bars, Natester, Snoops and my honey!

That's better.

Standing ovation

2006-09-15T09:04:00.000-07:00

Yesterday Nate pulled himself up into a standing position all by himself! He's been trying to do this for quite some time but has been injudicious in his choice of things to pull himself up on. Justin got a picture of it, and I will post it here in a bit. He is full of surprises lately, the little dude. For the past two nights he has only woken up once, at about 11:30, cried for about 10 mins and gone back to sleep until 7:00 am! Oh the sleep is sweet y'all, and I'm so proud of the little dude going it on his own.

Despite all this coolness I've been a little lackluster this past week. I've been doing some research work which is really interesting, but kind of labour and time intensive. I like the work but find it a bit stressful. I've also been working at home and find that I'm missing my Nate intensive days. One really cool thing that has come out of it is that I went to the university for the first time since I gave up the academic thing, and so totally don't regret it. Not even a little bit y'all! Sometimes I think I should miss it, cause it used to be such a huge part of my life, and I'm always surprised when I don't really. It doesn't hurt that no normal preson would want to be caught dead hanging out at the university in the first two weeks of school with all the frosh crap and join this fraternity and annoying undergrads wandering around aimlessly. In contrast, I really liked my job before maternity leave and am looking forward to returning to it. So, quite sorry PhD, but I don't think I'll be coming back anytime soon, if at all. Does this make me a failure?

Maybe, but I'm a relaxed and happy failure.

Not too bad, hey?